I will get back to blogging about China...I have to since it's my travel journal, and may actually do so this evening if I can't figure out how to watch what I've DVR'd on my satellite box on my laptop :) But I had to put this out there...
Please tell me that I am not the only mother out there that's had moments/days of complete and utter feelings of "I am sooooooooo bad at this, why did I ever reproduce?" Cause I've felt like my life has been made up of those moments WAY too often lately. Take tonight for example. Nothing I did for Carrie was right, and I mean NO-THING. Dinner apparently wasn't to her liking, she didn't like the fact that I had to pack up some stuff for us to bring over to Jerry & Izzy's house because it is going to be FREEZING tonight (the heater in the cottage has been acting flaky and the last thing I needed was to wake up at 3am to it snowing inside), she didn't want to take a bath, didn't want to get her pj's on....the list goes on. I have to admit I feel a little cheated. I mean, I only get to see her, on average, about 2 hours a day during the week, which apparently are her worst two hours. And I realize I bring that on myself by working outside of the home (a completely different guilt factor for another blog). All the teachers at school always say how sweet and pleasant she is....yeah, well, come on over to our house around 6:30 and let me know what you think. One of the teachers at school gave us her number and is wanting to babysit for Carrie. I'm afraid to have her come over for fear of ruining Carrie's reputation at school :)
To top it off, I feel like a wimp for feeling this way. I am lucky enough to have a MIL right here that takes her to school and picks her up 99.9% of the time so I don't have to worry with that aspect when trying to get to work and get home. My job is simply to come home and enjoy my child. This is hard to do when every single thing becomes a battle of wills. I know it could be worse, and I know I need to focus on that. But seriously....I keep telling Carrie that while Daddy's out of town we need to be on the same team and work together...not sure she quite gets that just yet. I'll keep trying, though.
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