I think I have some sort of sickness....

And I think it's called "OCD." Or maybe "Type A personality." I don't know the correct diagnosis, and don't really care. All I know is I function much better with a tangible goal. When I think about it, my whole freaking life has been chasing after some goal. When I was in high school, I wanted to graduate with a 4.0. (when I was in college I think I had flashes of wanting to do the same thing, but that first D in calculus I quickly got me over that and I was happy with the whole "D for Done" in that arena). When I was in college I wanted to get into a good grad school, and I got into a few and settled on GT. I then wanted to get my PhD....then thought better of it because I didn't want to spend the rest of my life struggling to get grants approved. After grad school I was focused on planning our wedding. That took a year....Got married in December and then in January decided I needed a new goal which happened to be running a marathon. That was over in June, so by August I was enrolled in my MBA program. That was over in December 2005....by July 2006 I was pregnant with Carrie. Had Carrie April 2007....then ran a half marathon that November. In 2008 we decided to uproot ourselves and move to SC and I started a new job and later that fall I was studying for the PHR exam. Passed that in December 2008, which just happened to be the same month I got pregnant with Anna. Very convenient for Jerry since he was leaving in January for Portugal for 8 months :) So I had that to focus on throughout 2009. 2010 brought the bright idea of me now studying for my SPHR exam, which I thankfully passed the very last day of January, which was also the very last day of the testing window.

And now? Now I've decided that it would be a good time to pick up running again and I'm contemplating doing the Savannah Rock n Roll Half Marathon in November.

WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?

Does anyone else out there do this? Jerry always teases me and says I am physically incapable of just being in the moment and going with the flow. I really wish sometimes I could do that. But every time I do it my mind goes into overdrive of "well, while I'm sitting here watching this show on TV I could be reading my magazine and filing these papers that need to be filed and perhaps also do a little scrapbooking."

I think I am just better at managing my time when I know I have some sort of goal hanging out there. If I know I have to get X number of miles running in this week, then I know I have to schedule the rest of my time around that because if I don't get the running in I'll look like a total fool (or hurt myself) come November.

I haven't actually signed up for the half marathon yet....taking my new running shoes for a test drive for a few weeks first to make sure I don't hurt myself. At any rate, if anyone would like to join me in November, just let me know....that would give me even more incentive to make sure I meet my goal :)