An Ah-Ha Moment

I promise I will post on Carrie's birthday festivities in a day or so (once I download the pics, which I know will make my mom happy!!), but I've just had this post rolling around in my head since yesterday afternoon now, and I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't get it out.

****MASCARA ALERT********

I had to add that in there for my mom, cause I'm pretty sure it will make her tear up. And I'm not putting this out there to make my mom & dad feel guilty about having to leave yesterday!!

So my mom has been here since last Saturday, and my dad came on Thursday. We had a great week. I know the girls were testing Mom's patience at times (heck, they test mine on a regular basis). Ken showed up on Thursday and we all took Carrie to gymnastics and just had a wonderful time together. Jerry got back into town late Thursday and we spent the weekend getting ready for Carrie's party and enjoying the company of family and friends.

Then after the party on Saturday came the time I knew was coming - I knew Mom would get sad at the idea of having to leave the girls. Carrie didn't help things because Mom was telling her that she had to leave to go back to Atlanta and she said "I love you Lady!" My mom told her she loved her too, then Carrie responds "I love you SO MUCH." That's enough to make anyone get sappy. So both of them are teary-eyed, which made me teary-eyed. It's a domino effect I think.

We got my parents off and headed back north, and all hell broke loose. Anna was clearly tired but thought a nap was optional, and Carrie was still getting upset that Lady and KnowMan had to leave. I knew one of the gifts she received from a friend was the movie Tangled so we broke that out and popped it in the player.

For the rest of the day, she'd be fine then all of a sudden she would bust out in tears saying "I want Lady & KnowMan!" I was trying so hard not to get sad myself in front of her, but I wasn't doing a very good job (you are NEVER too old to miss your parents!).

They finally went to bed around 7:30-8. Anna started crying because she was just exhausted, and then Carrie joined in. I went into Carrie's room and laid down with her and asked what was wrong, already knowing full well what it was. She missed my parents, and nothing I did or said was helping, so I just let her cry some to get it all out. And that's when it hit me - this is the beginning of what I can only imagine is one of the hardest things about being a parent - seeing your child hurting and not being able to do a damn thing about it. I mean, Carrie's been upset before, but it's usually because I won't let her do what she wants to do, or she's scraped her knee or something like that. Nothing like her missing a person and not understanding why she can't just see my parents whenever she wants to. I felt like my heart was being ripped out when she was crying. I wanted so badly to make everything right and make her feel better, but I knew nothing was going to help her right in that minute, and it sucked.

All I can say is I may not be able to get my parents' jobs moved down here so they can be around all the time and Carrie can see them whenever she wants, but God help the boy that breaks my baby's heart :)